Sunday, January 3, 2010
Look ma, No laptop!
In the pursuit of enlightenment in the new decade, I was thoroughly blessed with the excuse to get a blackberry smartphone. In this, a whole new world has opened in front of my very eyes. The magificent wonder encompassed in two words... Mobile blogging!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Christmas Fun and Partying down--without the lampshade on my head
Well Readers,
It seems that my 2009 has been yet another drama filled adventure in pathetic. *sigh* However, I have made many strides in my life, and am NOT living with my mother! I will wait for the jubilent rejoicing to subside (Mom...cool it). I have found my passion for work this year, and I have discovered that my children truly are the center of my world, and that my world is fine with them at the center.
I got a new job this year, and I love it. I enjoy my work, and have met so many wonderful people that I now count as friends. I hope that in 2010 I can meet many more, and have similar happiness in the workplace.
Dervish has grown up so much this year. He is in 5th grade now, and no longer sleeps with his stuffed dog, puppy. The stuffed leopard, Phil, is much more manly. He also experienced his first break-up this year. His first crush broke his heart, and yet they still managed to come out of it as friends. (However, I am STILL watching her..closely)
Princessa has grown up a lot too, and I thank the Almighty Father in Heaven daily for her teacher. This is the kind of 1st grade teacher that so many wish for, but my little girl needed. She is thriving and achieving under her direction.
Little Dude has had many challenges this year, and probably will have them for a long time. However, we are working the problems. We are going to make 2010 "the year of the Little Dude!" and make this year the best ever.
I realize this is reading like a bad family newsletter, but this is more for me and the recording of the progress of my family.
On a lighter note, Christmas eve we will be making cookies for Santa, watching the Polar Express, and A Christmas Story (at least four or five times). I can relate to this movie, after all, I did get my first phone call from the Assistant principal this year telling me that Dervish had to sit out from 4th grade field day for dropping the f-bomb.
Then New Year's Eve will be our Annual Monkey Brothers Film Festival Extraordinaire. The theme this year will be "Johnny Depp: Through the Ages" we will begin with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, then move backwards through the Pirate movies, and on from there... the later the time, the more "grown up" selections will be. "Cry Baby" will probably be screened around 11:45 after all the kids are asleep. Then, New Year's morning, we will have our annual brunch, except this year each kid gets to prepare a dish for our own mini "Top Chef" competition. I think I might film it and send it to Tom Colicchio and maybe make a name for myself.
Well, I leave you dear readers for the Christmas break, and wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy, Blessed, prosperous New Year.
Christen
It seems that my 2009 has been yet another drama filled adventure in pathetic. *sigh* However, I have made many strides in my life, and am NOT living with my mother! I will wait for the jubilent rejoicing to subside (Mom...cool it). I have found my passion for work this year, and I have discovered that my children truly are the center of my world, and that my world is fine with them at the center.
I got a new job this year, and I love it. I enjoy my work, and have met so many wonderful people that I now count as friends. I hope that in 2010 I can meet many more, and have similar happiness in the workplace.
Dervish has grown up so much this year. He is in 5th grade now, and no longer sleeps with his stuffed dog, puppy. The stuffed leopard, Phil, is much more manly. He also experienced his first break-up this year. His first crush broke his heart, and yet they still managed to come out of it as friends. (However, I am STILL watching her..closely)
Princessa has grown up a lot too, and I thank the Almighty Father in Heaven daily for her teacher. This is the kind of 1st grade teacher that so many wish for, but my little girl needed. She is thriving and achieving under her direction.
Little Dude has had many challenges this year, and probably will have them for a long time. However, we are working the problems. We are going to make 2010 "the year of the Little Dude!" and make this year the best ever.
I realize this is reading like a bad family newsletter, but this is more for me and the recording of the progress of my family.
On a lighter note, Christmas eve we will be making cookies for Santa, watching the Polar Express, and A Christmas Story (at least four or five times). I can relate to this movie, after all, I did get my first phone call from the Assistant principal this year telling me that Dervish had to sit out from 4th grade field day for dropping the f-bomb.
Then New Year's Eve will be our Annual Monkey Brothers Film Festival Extraordinaire. The theme this year will be "Johnny Depp: Through the Ages" we will begin with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, then move backwards through the Pirate movies, and on from there... the later the time, the more "grown up" selections will be. "Cry Baby" will probably be screened around 11:45 after all the kids are asleep. Then, New Year's morning, we will have our annual brunch, except this year each kid gets to prepare a dish for our own mini "Top Chef" competition. I think I might film it and send it to Tom Colicchio and maybe make a name for myself.
Well, I leave you dear readers for the Christmas break, and wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy, Blessed, prosperous New Year.
Christen
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Holiday Parties and the joy of gift giving
Today, dearest readers, we celebrated the holiday season with a Christmas/Kwanza/Chanukah/New Year/Black Friday/Pez appreciation day party. At this party, there were 7 metric tons of food. Really... I measured. I think it was the beef ribs that put us over the top. I even tried "curried eggs." Now, a discerning foodie such as myself has sampled all sorts of cuisine..... for example: I went to a Thai restaurant once. The chicken nuggets and boiled shrimp were delightful.
So, to see these morning delights covered in sauce that smelled like nothing I had ever experienced....... excitement.
Moving on......
After all the food had been consumed... seriously people, pharmacists can pack it away. We went on to play the "white elephant" gift game. All the gifts were stacked on one table in the corner, a shining beacon of gift giving glory....until the first gift was opened. A hot plate...... ..............................................................................................................................................................
next, someone opened a snowman that sang. It got stolen three times before ending up with an administrator that drives a Lexus XL. My contribution was a pair of binoculars. They went to someone who immediately held them up and said "anyone want to take these?" The real pinnacle of the game was the bottle of wine/flashlight. So, that when you get done with the wine, you can find your way to the bathroom. The true joy of gift giving for the holiday season. Ahhhhh. So, good food, good conversation, sharing a meal with colleagues and friends, and exploiting materialism at it's finest by giving each other crap you don't want or can't sell at a yard sale. Merry Christmas!
So, to see these morning delights covered in sauce that smelled like nothing I had ever experienced....... excitement.
Moving on......
After all the food had been consumed... seriously people, pharmacists can pack it away. We went on to play the "white elephant" gift game. All the gifts were stacked on one table in the corner, a shining beacon of gift giving glory....until the first gift was opened. A hot plate...... ..............................................................................................................................................................
next, someone opened a snowman that sang. It got stolen three times before ending up with an administrator that drives a Lexus XL. My contribution was a pair of binoculars. They went to someone who immediately held them up and said "anyone want to take these?" The real pinnacle of the game was the bottle of wine/flashlight. So, that when you get done with the wine, you can find your way to the bathroom. The true joy of gift giving for the holiday season. Ahhhhh. So, good food, good conversation, sharing a meal with colleagues and friends, and exploiting materialism at it's finest by giving each other crap you don't want or can't sell at a yard sale. Merry Christmas!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Hey Dude! That's MY Snuggie
For those in my handful of readers who know my sister.. over at folksy musins, she has posted many times about the snuggie... the blanket with sleeves that all of us who have breath in our lungs covet with the power of 10,000 suns. Yes, the snuggie, the enormous fleece blanket with sleeves. It probably took all of $3.00 to make, and has a seam that is already coming out. But it is now available at Dollar General for $15.99
I was lucky enough to have one bestowed upon me this past weekend, by my ex husband's grandmother whom I have adopted as one of my own. She bestowed upon me, her last unopened snuggie. I was shocked, but grateful.
However, my son, Dervish, who is my first born. The one I turn to for help vacuuming, and taking out trash, he STOLE my snuggie. This gift bestowed on me, is now in the clutches of the 10 year old who thinks that Hostess cakes are a food group.
So, today, dear readers, weep! Weep for my brush with greatness cut too short, in that I have owned a snuggie, and lost it to someone younger and cuter than I. I guess I will have to settle for my slanket, and the Sham-azing!
*sigh*
I was lucky enough to have one bestowed upon me this past weekend, by my ex husband's grandmother whom I have adopted as one of my own. She bestowed upon me, her last unopened snuggie. I was shocked, but grateful.
However, my son, Dervish, who is my first born. The one I turn to for help vacuuming, and taking out trash, he STOLE my snuggie. This gift bestowed on me, is now in the clutches of the 10 year old who thinks that Hostess cakes are a food group.
So, today, dear readers, weep! Weep for my brush with greatness cut too short, in that I have owned a snuggie, and lost it to someone younger and cuter than I. I guess I will have to settle for my slanket, and the Sham-azing!
*sigh*
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Commencement Time
In my efforts to navigate through this crazy thing we call life, I have graduated a couple of times. I hardly remember graduating from Kindergarten.... I have vague flashes of my beloved Kindergarten teacher (and now dear friend) Ms. Duvall handing me my tiny plastic diploma, and allowing me to hug her thighs, awkwardly. I remember my graduation from 8th grade, which was in a time before such events were celebrated as they are today. I remember my graduation from high school... I was still trying to find one of my teachers to make sure I passed a final exam before the ceremony. (Sorry Mom.. I don't know if you knew that part)
Today, I graduate from my viewpoint on life. In the past week, I have had several epiphanies about how I lived, and my own viewpoint on how life should be. I have spent most of my energy in this blog complaining about how bad things happen to me, when the point has always been that I allowed it to happen. The wave of emotion that hit me when I realized that my misfortune wasn't because I was cursed, (but was due to the fact that I welcomed misfortune like a guest with good soap, and fluffy towels) created a Tsunami in my chest.
My focus in this life has been finding my other half. Finding a man with whom I could love, and make a life with, and when that pursuit became too hard, I took the path of least resistance. The fallout was devastating. I should have known then that I should stop trying. Instead, I allowed mistake #2 to bind his soul with mine in the House of God. The fallout of that is still hitting me like I have a target painted on my backside. I should have known then.... Here I sit, in the midst of fallout of mistake #3, and I wonder.... What does someone such as myself deserve? The iron maiden? The rack? A public beheading? The pain I have had to endure? -- I have reaped what I have sown for myself and my children.
So, it is now time to cast off the shackles that adorn my heart. If the pain is my own, then I must take command of it. I can live passionately, and with some joy even in the absence of my fondest dream. I have my children, and one day I will have grandchildren. I have my mother, who is dearer to me than my own life. I have good friends, and that circle grows daily. I have books to read, and movies to watch, and snarky remarks to utter.
So, dearest readers, I move the tassel to the other side of my life, and begin anew. Since it is a graduation of sorts... I think I will go get myself a gift. If you need me, I will be at Ross!
Today, I graduate from my viewpoint on life. In the past week, I have had several epiphanies about how I lived, and my own viewpoint on how life should be. I have spent most of my energy in this blog complaining about how bad things happen to me, when the point has always been that I allowed it to happen. The wave of emotion that hit me when I realized that my misfortune wasn't because I was cursed, (but was due to the fact that I welcomed misfortune like a guest with good soap, and fluffy towels) created a Tsunami in my chest.
My focus in this life has been finding my other half. Finding a man with whom I could love, and make a life with, and when that pursuit became too hard, I took the path of least resistance. The fallout was devastating. I should have known then that I should stop trying. Instead, I allowed mistake #2 to bind his soul with mine in the House of God. The fallout of that is still hitting me like I have a target painted on my backside. I should have known then.... Here I sit, in the midst of fallout of mistake #3, and I wonder.... What does someone such as myself deserve? The iron maiden? The rack? A public beheading? The pain I have had to endure? -- I have reaped what I have sown for myself and my children.
So, it is now time to cast off the shackles that adorn my heart. If the pain is my own, then I must take command of it. I can live passionately, and with some joy even in the absence of my fondest dream. I have my children, and one day I will have grandchildren. I have my mother, who is dearer to me than my own life. I have good friends, and that circle grows daily. I have books to read, and movies to watch, and snarky remarks to utter.
So, dearest readers, I move the tassel to the other side of my life, and begin anew. Since it is a graduation of sorts... I think I will go get myself a gift. If you need me, I will be at Ross!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Coverage Update
*****Breaking News Flash******
My hair has gone (officially) 85% gray now. I will have to strip the color, and go lighter if I intend to keep it colored. UGH
That is all, now back to your regularly scheduled blogosphere*******
My hair has gone (officially) 85% gray now. I will have to strip the color, and go lighter if I intend to keep it colored. UGH
That is all, now back to your regularly scheduled blogosphere*******
The Wisdom of Bohemian Rhapsody & other Songs & Reflections
Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
Im just a poor boy, (girl)
i need no sympathy-
Because Im easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,
doesnt really matter to me,
To me.... ~Freddie Mercury
These words speak, of course by interpretation, to me and really kind of give me insight on my current situation. I am caught in a landslide of extremely poor luck/unfortunate circumstances. There is no escape from my reality. I live in the virtual groundhog day version of hell. I get up in the morning, I get the kids off to school, always worrying that Dustin is one kick or bite away from the special ed campus. I battle the traffic, and I do mean battle, getting to work. A 24 mile commute takes an hour to an hour and 15 minutes each morning. So I am usually late. This is always pointed out loudly when all the staff members have returned with their morning coffee.
I work, often without a break, until around 5 PM. Usually having to tell students that they will need to bring their issues back to me in the morning, because the office closes at 5. At 5 PM, I head for the door. I am usually out the door by 5:03, and to my car by 5:05. I get on the freeway which is less than a mile away at 5:26. I struggle, and often bend the law to make it home by 6. The kids are now in afterschool care. I discovered yesterday that when the program directors say they close at 6, this is actually "We are paid to stay until 6, but if you make us stay that late, we will hate you and make rude comments to you when you pick up your children!" I picked them up yesterday at 5:59, and got a three minute lecture on parental responsibility and paying attention to my children.
The same song and dance that I usually find at home with my children then started with my oldest child, regarding the television that is now sitting in my livingroom. He got used to having it in his room, and when I removed it, exclaimed his displeasure. He wants to be able to do nothing but play his playstation games, watch TV, and text on a cell phone with his friends. All of the above I have grounded him from for calling me names. The situation exploded with him throwing one of my diningroom chairs at myself and my other two children as we sat at dinner, and telling me that I am a "worthless piece of crap, and am going straight to hell." I can't say I can find much passion to disagree with him, but I am still not going to allow him to speak to me like that.
The whole mess going on in my personal life is getting worse. My estranged "husband" insists that he wants to be a family again, and that we can leave all this past mess behind me. He wants to be allowed back into my home, and my life, and promises that I won't have to worry about any of this anymore. I began the process of freeing myself from the legal entanglements involving my marriage to him. When I spoke with him yesterday, all the stress and emotion that has been building for the past few months exploded, and through tears, I exclaimed that I hoped I would die so at least I would be able to find peace and rest. He claimed to be turning in his resignation effective immediately, and heading for my house this morning. I guess we will see if he shows up.
I do beg for peace, with every prayer in my heart. I am not strong, or capable. I have a heart, and a dream for my life which doesn't matter outside of fulfilling responsibilities that should be shared, which are now squarely set on my solitary shoulders. I am going to keep going, get Dustin out of the house, and then hopefully find my peace. That indeed will be a joyous day. I fear, that it will come, and I will find myself alone.
~And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way'
Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
~ November Rain (Guns N Roses)
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
Im just a poor boy, (girl)
i need no sympathy-
Because Im easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,
doesnt really matter to me,
To me.... ~Freddie Mercury
These words speak, of course by interpretation, to me and really kind of give me insight on my current situation. I am caught in a landslide of extremely poor luck/unfortunate circumstances. There is no escape from my reality. I live in the virtual groundhog day version of hell. I get up in the morning, I get the kids off to school, always worrying that Dustin is one kick or bite away from the special ed campus. I battle the traffic, and I do mean battle, getting to work. A 24 mile commute takes an hour to an hour and 15 minutes each morning. So I am usually late. This is always pointed out loudly when all the staff members have returned with their morning coffee.
I work, often without a break, until around 5 PM. Usually having to tell students that they will need to bring their issues back to me in the morning, because the office closes at 5. At 5 PM, I head for the door. I am usually out the door by 5:03, and to my car by 5:05. I get on the freeway which is less than a mile away at 5:26. I struggle, and often bend the law to make it home by 6. The kids are now in afterschool care. I discovered yesterday that when the program directors say they close at 6, this is actually "We are paid to stay until 6, but if you make us stay that late, we will hate you and make rude comments to you when you pick up your children!" I picked them up yesterday at 5:59, and got a three minute lecture on parental responsibility and paying attention to my children.
The same song and dance that I usually find at home with my children then started with my oldest child, regarding the television that is now sitting in my livingroom. He got used to having it in his room, and when I removed it, exclaimed his displeasure. He wants to be able to do nothing but play his playstation games, watch TV, and text on a cell phone with his friends. All of the above I have grounded him from for calling me names. The situation exploded with him throwing one of my diningroom chairs at myself and my other two children as we sat at dinner, and telling me that I am a "worthless piece of crap, and am going straight to hell." I can't say I can find much passion to disagree with him, but I am still not going to allow him to speak to me like that.
The whole mess going on in my personal life is getting worse. My estranged "husband" insists that he wants to be a family again, and that we can leave all this past mess behind me. He wants to be allowed back into my home, and my life, and promises that I won't have to worry about any of this anymore. I began the process of freeing myself from the legal entanglements involving my marriage to him. When I spoke with him yesterday, all the stress and emotion that has been building for the past few months exploded, and through tears, I exclaimed that I hoped I would die so at least I would be able to find peace and rest. He claimed to be turning in his resignation effective immediately, and heading for my house this morning. I guess we will see if he shows up.
I do beg for peace, with every prayer in my heart. I am not strong, or capable. I have a heart, and a dream for my life which doesn't matter outside of fulfilling responsibilities that should be shared, which are now squarely set on my solitary shoulders. I am going to keep going, get Dustin out of the house, and then hopefully find my peace. That indeed will be a joyous day. I fear, that it will come, and I will find myself alone.
~And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way'
Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one
~ November Rain (Guns N Roses)
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