Eye makeup and other Feminine Hazards

From the time I was a little girl, I wanted to be a beauty queen. I wanted to look out over the adoring crowd, smile the Vaseline smile, and wave with my fingers stuck together like a flipper. Alas, my beauty is not conventional..... however, I recently took a journey that I can never return from.... life will just never be the same since I ventured into the domain of the SMOKY EYE!!!

For my job, I work with college professors, and students. There is something abundant in academia that makes people who work at and attend colleges extremely attractive, and trendy, and thin. So, I have gone on a diet, and lost......... some weight.... we won't discuss how much.... but the notch on the scale didn't go over as far at the doctor's office! No, we won't mention not wearing shoes...MOVING ON!

I was channel hopping the other evening while waiting for the latest installment of "Teen Mom" to come on MTV, when I saw a demonstration in creating the smoky eye.... This is the latest trend in eye makeup that is supposed to look like this:



So, being the intelligent, capable woman that I am, I tried to apply these techniques to myself this morning.



So, yeah. The smoky eye not the greatest look for me. Maybe I would have better luck with the airbrush... it is only $99.95... come on now.............. OH WAIT!!! What about the curling iron that rotates while you use it.... now THAT is right up my alley......

*sigh* I give up