Summer Travels and Other things to drive you crazy!

Yes, I realize it has been six months since I last posted... Yes, I am appropriately sorry and will have myself flogged repeatedly with a moist noodle for my crimes.. Moving on!!

Summer, school is out, and so are other things scantily clad in speedos and bikinis... so when considering where to take my children on vacation this summer, I paused, and pondered.. the beach?? NO... heavens... I wouldn't want to be so exposed in public, and not be adequately compensated for it.... so I decided, we need to explore this summer. And for that we need to determine what makes for a good summer vacation. So, the children and I developed a list...

1. Spend heaps of money
2. expensive souveniers
3. Silly pictures that you torture relatives with
4. Texas shaped waffles
5. Spelunking
6. Anything that contains "The worlds largest..."

So, I have devised what I call the "Tourist Trap Road Trip" of Southwestern Texas. We begin in Houston... and
day 1 we will drive to San Marcos, which is home of the WonderCave. I explored the wondercave on vacation when I was a child, and I can tell you that as far as spelunking goes, this is a wonder of a tourist trap that is not to be missed. Also, they have added a wildlife exhibit, so two for one on vacation requirements!
Day 2, we will begin with our free continental breakfast, which includes Texas shaped waffles, and continue on to the San Marcos outlet stores, where we will proceed to spend gobs and gobs of money.
Day 3, we will head down to New Braunfels to Natural Bridge Caverns and Wildlife Park to compare and contrast the spelunking with animals experience. We will detour slightly through New Braunfels to the Guadalupe river, and spend an afternoon playing in the water and have a picnic on the banks. This will, no doubt, be an experience the children will savor because it involves both fire building, and getting muddy!

Day 4 we will make a day trip to Animal World Snake Farm. And then about an hour later after seeing a real live snake I expect we will leave Animal World Snake Farm!

Day 4 also brings us down into San Antonio, the land of authentic Mexican food and all it brings! We will be moving to our new hotel, on the river, but about 2 miles away from the Riverwalk.
Day 5 will be the Largest wooden nickel ever made, the Ripley's believe it or not museum, Wax museum, and the trip to the therapist. Day 5 will end out with a luxurious dinner at the Magic Time Machine, where hopefully, our waitress will be fully clothed, and not the slutty "Alice In Wonderland" they have pictured on the website.

Day 6... After a good night's rest, Day 6 will bring us back to the Paseo del Rio, and a boat tour, and the Alamo museum and Vogue photo session. Then, we will relocate to Grandma Vaughn's house for swimming, and I will pass out.

A six day vacation that fulfills all 6 items on the "fun family vacation" list. I plan on keeping track of how many times I have to remind the children that we will enjoy our vacation, even if it KILLS us!!!!