Needing a major pep talk

Scene: My house(filthy as ever)
Players: The monkey brothers (Mom, Z, L & D)

The tv is playing top chef as Mom enters scene left

Mom: Kids, you need to clean your rooms. They haven't been clean for 345 years. You need to clean them and liberate all the prisoners of war.

Kids: Mom, we're too tired, so we're going out to play with our friends.

Mom: No, you need to clean your rooms.

Kids: What? We can't hear you, we're outside already!


Fin...

I need a serious pep talk. Why am I even doing this?


I want my Mommy

Update on Life

I am trying so hard to be able to make it through the next few weeks. The difficulty I am having with hubby is just becoming more than I can even stand. It makes me angry, then weepy, then hopeful, then weepy again. I miss him, and love him, and hate him all at the same time.

The truth is: we have not had a "real" marriage in a very long time. He left me in January to return to work and I have only seen him once since. The struggles going on with us are overwhelming. I am just wanting to make it from day to day. I am not crying, or feeling weak. I am trying to find my place. He has asked me for six months to get his stuff together and set us up as a family. In all honesty, he has been out working, but his family has very rarely benefitted from it. I don't know what he spends his money on, but it isn't given to us. I just changed jobs, I am here by myself attempting to make it through until he can (or is willing to) assist in our care. I am not a greedy person.... all I have ever wanted was to have enough to make it through, but it always comes back to me having to do everything and go above and beyond to take care of my family, and asking my mother to bail me out of financial mess after financial mess.

I am sick of it......

Life Reboot.... Do not adjust your screen

Yes, dear readers, it is I. I am sitting on the eve of the next great reboot in my life. Tomorrow I will walk into the hallowed halls of University of Houston as a full time, bona fide employee. Jazzed does not even describe the beginning of how this feels. For the longest time, my desire has been to become a part of a big university in some form or fashion, and begin the journey towards my eventual goals of becoming a librarian. Granted, the Graduate school of pharmacy isn't anywhere near the library, it would take about 30 minutes to even get there, but hey, it is a starting place, and I am grateful for it. I will have my own office, although humbler than the last one. I am so excited about this new grand adventure, and it begins tomorrow.

This will also give me an excuse to put the unpleasantness of the past behind me, and begin again, and be able to offer my children and my family a better life. I have been attempting to place some kind of humorous charicature on this experience, but there is none. I am getting yet another chance to start over, and I will take it and run.