Update on Life

I am trying so hard to be able to make it through the next few weeks. The difficulty I am having with hubby is just becoming more than I can even stand. It makes me angry, then weepy, then hopeful, then weepy again. I miss him, and love him, and hate him all at the same time.

The truth is: we have not had a "real" marriage in a very long time. He left me in January to return to work and I have only seen him once since. The struggles going on with us are overwhelming. I am just wanting to make it from day to day. I am not crying, or feeling weak. I am trying to find my place. He has asked me for six months to get his stuff together and set us up as a family. In all honesty, he has been out working, but his family has very rarely benefitted from it. I don't know what he spends his money on, but it isn't given to us. I just changed jobs, I am here by myself attempting to make it through until he can (or is willing to) assist in our care. I am not a greedy person.... all I have ever wanted was to have enough to make it through, but it always comes back to me having to do everything and go above and beyond to take care of my family, and asking my mother to bail me out of financial mess after financial mess.

I am sick of it......