Right now, I wish I was a treehugging, hippie so I could legitimately go out into the woods and participate in primal scream therapy.... you know when people sit around and scream away all their stresses and pressures in a big decible-hefty release of sound. Well, if I did that at my house, it would interfere with the little children making messes, and the neighbors would lose money on their crack sales.
The kids will NOT clean their rooms. I am getting ready to file EPA violations against my boys, I walked in there this morning and there were complete, in tact french fries under the bed..... and when I told the responsible child to pick them up and put them in the trash, he said "can't the vacum get it?" "No," I responded... " Well, I am too tired. I need to lay down"
Then I realized: (yes I know my mother follows my blog) That was me! I am always too tired to do things. I work constantly, and when I get home, I want to relax and unwind, but I can't afford to. I need to be setting a good example of how one should do things... You get home, you pick up, then you relax.
Things with Hubby got better for a couple of weeks, then got worse, and are now non-existent. I haven't actually heard from him in 5 days. I am suffering with money, and he has his phone turned off. I don't actually know where he is or what he is doing, but I know that I can't reach him, and I realized, other than the piece of paper that declares us "man and wife" there is very little of a marriage between us. We share nothing... no bills, no money, he won't touch me when he does see me, and I have to literally beg if I need him to do anything for me or the kids.
I guess I know that I won't be able to marry again if I get a divorce. But I would rather be on my own than have to beg for love and attention from my husband. So, I guess I am headed to divorce court again.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I don't think you should let your tree-hugging status (or lack thereof) from stopping your scream fest. Tell me when and where, and I'll join you. I know you are going through a hard time, but things will get better. Like when you write a novel about it and make hundreds of thousands off the royalties. Seriously. You're a great writer with that perfect mix of humor and wonderful vulnerability. Now, go scream.
Years ago, I smiled the sinister mother's smile, and said to you, as you, too, refused to clean your room, "May you have children just like you."
Now I'm sorry.
Hang in there.
Let out the scream! Don't be afraid to let it all out!!!! And yes, you need to move on as hard as that has to be. And where do you get this "I guess I know that I won't be able to marry again if I get a divorce" poop?! You deserve way better than what you have....
Listen to your mother...hang in there! And remember we love you!
Post a Comment